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25 Signs You've Grown Up
- Your house
plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
- Having sex in
a twin bed is out of the question.
- You keep more
food than beer in the fridge.
- 6:00 AM is
when you get up, not when you go to bed.
- You hear your
favorite song on an elevator.
- You watch the
Weather Channel.
- Your friends
marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
- You go from
130 days of vacation time to 14.
- Jeans and a
sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
- You're the
one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't
turn down the stereo.
- Older
relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- You don't
know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
- Your car
insurance goes down and your payments go up.
- You feed your
dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
- Sleeping on
the couch makes your back hurt.
- You no longer
take naps from noon to 6 PM.
- Dinner and a
movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
- Eating a
basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach.
- You go to the
drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy
tests.
- A $4.00
bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
- You actually
eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
- "I just can't
drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink
that much again."
- 90% of the
time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
- You no longer
drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
- You read this
entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply
to you.
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