A Male Driver’s Observations

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work - that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumber-to-bumper is on an eight-lane highway, so if you just look at the seven lanes I am not in, that means I pass a new car something like every 40 feet per lane. That's seven cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even thought the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. Taht brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females. That's 18,000. In any given group of females, one in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And, 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing. This means that EVERY SINGLE DAY I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.

Flip one off? I think not.

~ Unknown Author